There is no better way to unveil your true feelings about adding another child to your family than a pregnancy scare.
I had always thought three children would be nice. It would fill our home nicely and it was a good number without getting out of hand. I looked forward to watching for those first, middle and youngest sibling character traits develop. I wanted my own middle child to snuggle and nurture and tell it was all going to be ok.
When Ari was born I couldn’t imagine even conceiving another child until he was past one-year-old. My girlfriends with boys the same age were all ready to go again but I was all ‘hell no!’ I know my mental capabilities and I knew further down the track there would be more, I just needed some time to find my feet.
My feet, at the time, were freaking LOST!
Once Leni arrived three years later I was pretty sure that this was our family complete but the shop door was still left ajar.
Jump ahead 5 months, I’m not feeling great. I am even more tired than normal and a bit nauseous on and off. I am having some headaches and I was just completely zapped of energy.
Holy shit!! No. No. No. NO!!
Ok, so if this is your first reaction when the realisation washes over you that you could possibly be pregnant, it is a key indicator that you are not keen.
As it had taken us years to fall pregnant, we had been a little lax when it came to birth control after babies. I knew my body well, or so I thought. Once we were back in the saddle I thought we would just work to the best timings. It wasn’t like we were at it like rabbits, I had just had a baby.
Holy mother of baby cheeses! I had just had a baby!
As I waited for my wee to creep up that pregnancy test I scolded myself for being so careless. As soon as the time had lapsed and I was still only staring at one line the clarity that I was only to have two children become crystal.
So now we welcome back Ron into our lives. The trusty box of condoms sits in my husband’s bedside draw. I don’t complain about the feel of them and we always use them. ALWAYS! I think we have actually used more condoms in the past 4 months after having two kids than ever in our whole relationship!
That sounds super impressive in the sack. It’s not. We were not the most “wrapped” couple to start off with.
Making the decision about birth control after babies is one I hadn’t really thought about. I know that sounds silly but it took us so bloody long to fall pregnant that the thought of having to make sure we didn’t fall pregnant seemed odd. Freaking Murphy and his stupid law.
My husband and I went through the many types of birth control and decided that one day we will do something more permanent. When I say we, I really mean he but as sure as I am about my mental capabilities as a mother, a vasectomy is quite definite. I am not ready to make that cut (pun intended) and neither is he even when we are both so sure we still need to give it 12 months.
I have felt the pressure from many a midwife or nurse to use a Mirena IUD, but seriously? I’m not putting something that looks a whole lot like the spring on my washing pegs up my vajayjay! My pegs are all wonky and out of shape. I see how well it is working out for them! Not for my lady bits, thank you very much!
And the pill? I’m not keen. Too many unknowns. After it masking my polycystic ovary issues for so many years, I am keen to let my body just do its own thing without pumping it with synthetic hormones if I don’t have to.
Condoms it is! My sex education teacher would be so proud. Be it 20 years later!
My little family is complete. As perfect and chilled as my baby girl is, I think my mothering capacity is at its limits. Of course, if we happened to fall pregnant I know I would be fine but my choice is to stick with just two and welcome Ron back into our lives for sanities sake.
Do you have any happy little accidents? Have you used a Mirena IUD?