I am super excited today!
Tomorrow, my beautiful family and friends are throwing a baby shower for me. I didn’t have one when I was pregnant with Ari as I was living away from the family and I had just moved to Mackay from Airlie Beach so didn’t have many close friends in the area.
With baby number two that has changed. I am back in Brisbane. Back to lifelong friends and have found some awesome new friends.
But also tomorrow I have two special Mummy girlfriends coming down from Mackay to stay with me. These girls were my safety net and support crew when Ari arrived in our lives and are very special to me.
I always mention to friends who have just become new Mums the importance of hanging out with other new Mums. Not to push them away at all but let’s be honest, the more time as a Mum you have the more jaded you can become. Especially after one of “those days”, your guidance and support may be slightly tarnished by the 35 tantrums you have had to endure and 16,975 pieces of PlayDoh you just picked up off the ground. As much as I will always be a support for them, I understand the value of other new Mums in their lives.
As a new parent you need those people around you that are going through exactly the same shit at exactly the same time. The ones that, just when you think you are sinking, you have a quick coffee with them you realise that we are all in the same boat.
I didn’t go to a “Mother’s Group” as such. They scared the bejeebers out of me! I am a really shit pretender and the thought of meeting up with a group of new people just because we all had babies around the same time didn’t sit well.
So, I just kept my eye out for my Mama-wolf pack.
I found my friend V when my husband and I attended birth classes at the same birthing centre she was using. Two things happened in those birth classes that made me think we were going to be friends:
1) She told the story of her husband coming in after mowing the lawn looking for a drink and he picked up a refreshing bottle of lemonade and skulled it from the fridge. Only it wasn’t lemonade it was her glucose drink for her Gestational Diabetes test the next day.
2) When going through the hospital for an induction to the birthing suite. V’s husband was the volunteer to get up on the bed and show how all the gadgets worked. As the A+ test dummy he even used the suction cup on his head… I heard there was a red ring on his forehead for days after. This made me positive that for one, my little baby wasn’t going to be sucked out of me and two, these were our type of people!
Through V, I met my other friend Ash who has become one of my closest friends and will be for life.
The three of us had nothing in common when it came to the types of birth we had and we all have differences of opinion on lots of parenting stuff, but the way we look out for each other and support each other through this roller-coaster of motherhood is priceless.
These are the friends you can talk about anything too. You never have to hold yourself back for the “just in case I offend” scenario.
As a new Mum you need friends who:
- Are honest with you but don’t belittle
- Listen to you but don’t judge
- Compare notes but don’t compete
- You never have to second guess yourself
- Become your village, because isn’t that what it takes?
I am one lucky lady to find these girls who tick all the boxes in my life.
Like I said, I am a shit pretender, but with friends like these there is no need to be anything but me.
Do you find it hard to pretend like me or are you an expert chameleon?
Found your wolf-pack?