Waking up in the morning is never pleasant for me. Really, I’m unsure of what would be required for me to become a person who wakes and bounces and smiles at 6am.
What is a benefit to me though is visiting a chiropractor regularly so I don’t wake up all stiff and sore or with a headache to match my grumpy old woman attitude.
I love my chiro but I must admit that not all chiropractors are created equal. I have seen my fair share due to moves and incidents (I will get to that). Some I didn’t even know were terrible at their job until I moved onto the next one.
I first decided I should go to a chiro just to see if they could help with the migraines I was getting monthly. I had been given a few recommendations so booked an appointment close to my work in Brisbane’s CBD. The practice could be described as a combination of doctor’s office and shopping center massage parlor. Walls that didn’t quite reach the ceiling in the rooms and it was the only place I have ever been where you were warmed up with a steam massage prior to the chiropractor coming in. It was a really interesting and I would have loved to have gone back.
Unfortunately though, I farted.
In a position that no other Chiro has put me in since, I did a massive fart in a room with walls as thick as tissue paper.
As much as the chiro assured me it had happened many times before, for the rest of the consult, all I could think was, “You will never see me again.”
What a shame. For years, I thought the chiropractor was someone who stretched and twisted you until any locked up gas inside your belly exploded out your ass.
Two years later and I peaked at putting together fancy dress costumes…
Before I go on, I am aware my octopus had only six tentacles. I bought him from a cheap shop. I had just moved to the Whitsundays, there was plenty of drinking to be had so I was on a budget.
Two days after the #bestchristmaspartyever I woke up unable to move. Yep, a blow-up octopus on your head for 4 hours will do that to you. I found myself visiting a chiropractor for an emergency appointment and since that day I have been seeing one regularly.
Not because of the long term effects of said octopus, but because of life.
Looking back over the chiropractors I have been to I can see the ones who I wasted money on.
There was one who just had me coming back and doing the same thing with no long term outlook. Actually, when I think about it, I have seen a couple like that.
I thought I would have to stop seeing my second-favourite chiro. I shall call him Ian because that is his name. He was just simply too attractive and I didn’t like the way he turned me to mush at every appointment. He was such a nice guy too. It didn’t matter if the Mr and I were in for a double appointment, I just couldn’t talk sense when I was in the room with Ian. My husband, who was every aware of my “issues” would just sit, watch and roll his eyes. Luckily I was able to calm my burning loins and I continued to see Ian for nearly three years before moving away.
It was a tough break up.
Finding our current chiro was an absolute fluke. We had no referrals so we blindly picked out a practice close by. Jolene is who we got. She is absolutely amazing and I wish her upon everyone, well ok that’s a lie, she is hard enough to get into as it is!
Jolene is all about the whole body and looks at everything that is going on with you. She is certainly not a lay flat and crack practitioner! A unicorn of a chiro perhaps and if she ever moves practices I will hunt her down (until I have to pay for flights, I am sure there has to be someone else close to her expertise). She takes notes about what is happening for me in life and contemplates what would have been happening to my spine and whole body. She will recommend natural supplements that can help any ailments and we even share books (not that this makes up an excellent chiropractor but it is a bonus in my books… pun incidental).
So this is my two-cents if you are looking at seeing a chiropractor:
- Don’t just hop on the bed straight away. A good chiropractor asks how things have been going since your last appointment and takes notes. My current cough is always noted and anytime my braces get tightened extra attention is paid to those affected areas.
- If you don’t feel like you need fortnightly appointments, you most likely don’t. You can say no. You can feel what is going on.
- I have never farted again. Well, I have farted but not in a chiro appointment. Chiropractors don’t always make you fart.
- Some doctor’s are anti on chiropractors. Just something to be aware of if you mention it to your GP.
- Relax. If you relax the whole thing will be much nicer and the chiro can do their job better.
- Afterward, go for a 5-minute walk at least. I should practice this more.
- If you don’t feel like you are getting anywhere with your chiro stop giving them your money and go somewhere else.
- Check out your preferred practices with your health fund if you have an extras plan. It could save you some cash.
- Ask if you could be doing anything at home. Exercises or even holding your child on the opposite hip could help outside of appointments.
- If you are on the Northside of Brisbane and want to know where I go send me an email.
I will add that this is completely not sponsored. I was writing about chiros in another post and realised I had so many stories about farting, octopuses and hot flushes that it would take over a whole post… and it did!
Do you see a chiropractor? Any tips to add?
Want more Calm to Conniption? Subscribe to my fortnightly newsletter and get some pretty freaking cool motivating mini posters to print yourself.
**If you are wondering where is today’s Mummy Soul Session podcast is, my lack of voice earlier this week stopped the recording process. We will be back next week for sure. I have to get better at some point. 🙂